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I have a very unusual friend, and with him I discovered one of the most unusual and joyful friendships I have. It totally transcends boundaries, when it’s not busy ripping them the hell apart and it fills me with inspiration and pleasure. We’ve known each other for years. We’ve grown through some of our most important years together. We grew through some of them apart, walking parallel lines with astonishing care. We met and discovered an intimacy that was incomparable and incomprehensible. We’ve talked, we’ve touched, we’ve kissed. We’ve walked lines, crossed boundaries, explored and created together and been something beyond friends to each other. We’ve been teacher and student, playmates, friends, fools and lovers. We know the best and worst of each other and cannot help but be there for each other.
We live within a film of tension, that only exists between us: stretched taut like bubbles blown in the open air, our friendship is fundamental in its beauty, fulfilled by its fuction and fragile as an autumn moment. The air seems every so often to fizz between us, demanding intimacy in its age-old way. It’s not the intimacy of lovers, but the intimacy of those who have known each other from the beginnings of forever and before. It’s the casual need to touch to comfort and reassure, whether it’s no more than the brush of a finger sweeping your hair from your eyes or a solid hug in a moment of sadness.
These moments we share: the silences, the demands, the tension. They are our private dance. It cannot be recreated elsewhere with different players, because it is defined by the magic and power that sits between us, largely untapped and waiting. This is our lesson, our message and our joy. It needs to be unwrapped layer by layer for us to discover its truth, its core. Our power is potent and elemental. We must together close our eyes and venture into the unknown.
It is impossible to do otherwise. You feel held in thrall until you comply or break out. This is how we define ourselves and how we balance. We demand each other’s truths: in silence, in touch, in sound, in vision. Each of us is a key to a path already defined. Heart and soul we are comitted and complicit in turning the keys.
Together and apart, we understand that we are driven to be who we truly are. We remain united in our refusal to be less. Everything within us demands the intensity of extremity while we fight for a balanced consciousness.
We demand more of each other than we have any right to ask, yet rarely does it foster anger or resentment. More commonly, it opens a door to a rabbit hole. Like Alice, we fall down and wake up in an altered consciousness.
So much of who we are is unarticulated, and inarticulable. The questions are unformed and the answers too abstract, yet the truth of us cannot be questioned. For all we have done together and all we are now – it is nothing compared to what will be. One question remains: will you walk this path with me?
